Rock ‘N Roll Over Your Cheeks: Nana Bouwens’ Guide to Tears
Life is full of moments that make our hearts swell, our eyes sting, or our cheeks overflow with emotion. For Nana Bouwens, tears are not signs of weakness—they are the “pearls of the soul,” powerful expressions of joy, grief, and everything in between. From losing both of her parents to transforming personal pain into creative works, Nana has learned that embracing our emotions fully is the key to living deeply. In this guide, she invites us to explore the healing, transformative, and sometimes playful power of tears, showing how crying can be a form of courage, creativity, and connection.
“Tears are not weakness—they’re the pearls of your soul.”
You call yourself curious but also fulfilled just watching life happen. How do you balance adventure with stillness?
I think stillness is necessary to fully integrate what you’ve learned during your adventures—the people you’ve met, the food you’ve tasted, the colors and shapes you’ve absorbed. I am a sensitive person and can get overstimulated at times, so for me, it’s about going all in, experiencing everything fully, and then returning to “hermit mode” to savor it all.
Losing both of your parents deeply changed you. What did grief teach you about life?
It taught me that you shouldn’t wait for life to start happening. You have to take action, wait for no one, and go as you please. The most important lesson, though, was the need to say the things I wanted to say to the people I love. That gives me peace of mind.
You once gave out handkerchiefs at funerals. What was the meaning behind that gesture?
A handkerchief gives people something tangible to hold on to. It’s kind, gentle, and you can be creative with it. You can wipe your tears, or even wipe your hands or mouth when eating cake. It’s a reminder of love. I adore when men have a pocket square and offer it as a gesture of generosity and kindness, holding space for emotions.
You believe tears are powerful, not weak. How has crying helped you heal?
When a tear comes while listening to music or watching a movie, letting it roll over your cheek signals that you are safe and present in that moment. On the other hand, when things go wrong, tears are the first sign that change is needed. Tears can also create space in an argument—they signal that a line has been crossed and a pause is necessary.
We have tears of joy, excitement, or even from cutting onions. They are powerful, loving, kind, and push us toward a better life.
Your book The Talking Stick Sessions invites people to share openly. What do you hope readers gain from it?
I hope readers see that no matter where we are born, live, believe, or eat, in the end we all want the same things: a happy home, work/life balance, a healthy body, and financial stability. And if everything goes according to plan, we love to travel—but the best part of travel is coming home to what makes us us.
I also want readers to tell their own stories. Two people can look at the same event and see something completely different. My book is meant to be an eye-opener: to get out of your comfort zone and explore your inner and outer world. I would love to share my pdf/journal e-book with all of you for free; https://nanabouwns.gumroad.com/l/jbexo We won’t have to carry the burden of grief alone, and we should celebrate together.
The book isn’t about perfection, it’s raw, kind, loving, grieving, fun, emotional, chaos, etc. Me myself have ADD and am dyslectic. I could have corrected the writing with punctuations and spelling, but I wanted it as my now kintsugi heart spilled it’s words. When emotions are kept below the surface, they will explode at one moment in time. I believe that time has come for a lot of women who have been suppressed for ages, and in the whole ancesterlyline, that they will speak up.
I believe Mirela is her time ahead and started this movement of giving every person she meets a microphone. My book is one step before that, and that we still need to acknowledge some stories for ourselves. Maybe write them out first, maybe even have to lie to ourselves before we can speak them out loud. And like Mirela always says, it doesn’t matter if it’s perfect, it has to be done the Albanian way, quick and get it out into the world, you can adjust later.
What’s one question from your book that everyone should ask themselves?
Who am I when no one is watching? Who am I when there are no rules or boundaries? Why do I do the things I do—nature or nurture?
And also did I do everything in my power for my 8 and 88 year old self? Can we be proud when we look back with the knowledge that we found along the way. Did we speak up, make a correction where needed, adjusted situations for our younger self or the future version of us?
“Let your tears fall—they show you’re alive, feeling, and healing.”
Storytelling is central to your work. Why does sharing our stories matter so much?
Storytelling is humanity’s oldest tool. Through stories, we learn how to do things—or how not to. Stories give us connection and help us find our tribe. They give us a sense of belonging. You can hear the emotions in the voice. You can read between the lines. Messages of red and green flags on your journey and you decided what to do with them. In the end we all want to hear Frank Sinatra sing; “I did it my way.”
You’ve turned personal pain into books, creative souvenirs and sweaters. How does creating help you process emotions?
There’s a saying that time heals all wounds, but I believe it’s what you do with that time that truly heals. You have to go through your pain and acknowledge the people and experiences you’ve loved.
A true emotion lasts only 90 seconds, yet we can spend years processing it, riding waves that throw us back into the deep end. For me, this process felt lonely, and I needed an outlet. Sometimes, creating for someone else is easier than creating for yourself.
I hope that one day my tear symbol will be as recognized as the pink ribbon—representing everything from broken hearts to lost jobs to happiness. People see joy on your face, but sadness is more difficult. Through my creations, you don’t have to explain your story to receive kindness. Giving someone a cup of tea can be enough to been seen in the darkest days and brighten up someone in ways you can’t imagine.
What does a “win/win/wine” collaboration mean to you?
Win/Win/Wine means both parties are happy with the deal, like each other, and celebrate wins—big or small. Even if we part ways, it can still be a win if we honor growth and respect each other.
If someone remembers only one thing about you and your work, what do you hope it is?
That one smile can spark a friendship lasting a lifetime. And for my tears—I hope they are tears of joy. But we need tears to cleanse, to see where we are in this moment. Life is a storm, but together we rise, clearing energy drains, facing the good, the bad, and the ugly.
And for the boys: guys have feelings too. If they want to cry, let them. Whoever said otherwise was wrong. Don’t wipe your tears away—let them rock ‘n roll over your cheeks. Let us all have human experiences. You were born with them; they are the pearls of your soul.
Tears R Us®
With Love,
