Raminta Girdvaine: A Journey Into The Power of Authenticity
Raminta Girdvaine is a Global Inspirational Speaker & Transformation Coach. She helps people from all over the world to move from the starting point to their dreams by speaking at conferences, doing workshops and seminars, sharing insights in the media, and conducting 1:1 coaching and CBT sessions (Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy).
She is a Certified Coach (ICF), and Points of You® Certified Trainer, has Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees in Communication, and studied Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for 4 years. Raminta has been working in personal development and psychology for more than 8 years, and in education, communication, and event organising for 16 years.
To serve better others and her own life, each year Raminta spends around 80 days for learning, self-reflection, and raising expertise with world-renowned teachers. Currently, she is studying Body and Movement Therapy, exploring dance therapy and different other approaches to self-development.
She believes that everyone is worthy to live the life of their dreams and you can start today, from the place you are, by taking responsibility and a first step.
You’ve had a diverse career spanning communication, marketing, coaching, and therapy. How have these different roles contributed to your current work as a Transformation Coach and Inspirational Speaker?
To be honest, for a long time, I didn’t see my diversity as an advantage. I often asked myself, “What is wrong with me? Why can’t I pick one area and stay there for an extended period, delving deeper and investing all my efforts and time to become a ‘full’ expert in one field, as many ‘normal’ people do?” I looked at myself as flawed, not enough as a coach, not enough as a communication specialist, not enough as a therapist. In reality, many versatile people experience this distorted self-image, not recognizing what an amazing strength it is, especially in this fast-changing environment.
Everything changed when I began accepting my authenticity. This is who I am – merging different perspectives, knowledge, and creating something entirely new from them what I believe is necessary for my clients or society at any given moment. Now I see my diversity as one of the main characteristics that is entirely unique to me and can bring the most significant value to my clients and many other people.
This diversity makes me understand and accept different people better, be more flexible with my coaching and therapy clients, enabling me to provide them with an individualized approach, without limiting myself to a single theory. This helps them achieve better and faster results while enjoying the journey of self-discovery, meeting their unique needs. As an Inspirational Speaker, this approach allows me to deliver the newest and most relevant ideas tailored to the current moment, specific audiences, and constantly updated content. Novelty is something I love and infuse into everything I do.
Can you share a significant moment in your life when you realized you didn’t need to “fix” or “improve” anything about yourself? How did this realization shape your approach to personal development and coaching?
Nine years ago, I made a significant career change, transitioning from an employed communication and marketing professional to personal development. I completed numerous coaching and training courses, earned diploma after diploma, and embarked on new projects, all with the aim of proving and enhancing my self-worth. In 2017, I organized a conference for women titled “Dare to Start” with a team in Lithuania, bringing together 500 people, it was a great launch. I was a speaker at the event, curated speakers and content, and handled communication responsibilities. The following year, the event sold out three weeks before the start, and I co-hosted it with a well-known TV and radio host. We expanded to accommodate 1000 people, organized events in different cities, launched few media projects and held monthly meetings. While these achievements were remarkable, my satisfaction was short-lived. It seemed that it was never enough, and I felt that something was wrong. Despite being an emotional health professional, I couldn’t free myself from this trap.
A turning point occurred when I participated in a two-year public speaking project. The goal was to deliver a 15-minute keynote speech at the final conference. I dedicated considerable time each week to perfecting my speech, even though I already had prior speaking experience. In 2021, I stood on stage during the final day, receiving applause and appreciation, yet feeling strangely sad and empty as I stepped off the stage. I had proven to myself that I could deliver an outstanding speech and received ample external validation, but it didn’t make me happy.
It was at that moment that I realized I had pursued these goals for the wrong reasons. My motivation was not to become a better professional, but to feel less flawed, even though there was actually nothing to fix. My secret goal during the project was to convince myself that I could do it, but that goal was also misplaced – self-belief is a choice and a foundation, not a goal. It has nothing to do with a specific result, as tying your self-belief to specific outcomes will never be enough. Achieving a great result did not help me feel better because the only person who didn’t approve of me was myself.
Following the public speaking project in 2021, I decided to change my mindset of “never good enough” forever. It was a drastic shift. I understood that I needed to detox from the addiction to external validation that did not improve my self-view. I withdrew from public speaking clubs, social events, collaborative projects, event organization, social media, and public speaking engagements. I retained only my private one-to-one clients and a few close friends. I made a conscious decision to step away from social approval and rediscover who I was without the need for external validation. I needed to reframe how I viewed myself and how I validated my worth.
Initially, it was challenging, but with the assistance of therapy, numerous books, substantial inner work, and quality rest, I began to rediscover myself (a process that took over 1.5 years). I now engage in the same activities, but with a different mindset. I am not seeking diplomas; I pursue things because I am curious, they align with my goals and dreams, and because they bring me joy. This change has been liberating. I am no longer attached to my achievements and projects; I know that even if I were to lose everything one day, I would be complete in assurance that I am still the most amazing and valuable person, as you are also.
You mentioned your journey of self-discovery and standing in your true place and power. What advice do you have for individuals who are struggling to find their true purpose and potential?
Begin exploring your likes and needs and ask yourself – what are they saying about me? What are my values, my dreams? What would you do if no one restricted you? If you remove all the limitations (money, time, social pressure, etc.)?
Also, ask yourself, what hurts you most when seeing other people or the world? What inspires you? For example, I am so inspired by people who are passionate about their work – I can watch them for hours. I always cry when watching movies where people decide to seek their dream, redirect their path, start believing in themselves, and embrace their own authenticity. That means a lot to me. And I always feel bad for people when they work in a job they don’t love, when they hesitate about themselves and don’t use their full potential. I see their light and talents and want them to live their lives fully, embracing their true nature and path.
The more you ask, the more answers you get. This is how our brain works – it wants to fill in missing parts. Start small and don’t give up; eventually, you’ll get the answers.
After that, you have to ask yourself honestly if these dreams are truly yours and if they are relevant to you right now. Many people waste so much time pursuing society’s or their parents’ goals, or dreams that belonged to their older selves but don’t suit them anymore. You have to find out what is yours. That starts with knowing who you are. Then you have to stand in your power. Standing in your power starts with self-love. Choose yourself first, make small adjustments in your day where you prioritize yourself, not others, and make choices to take care of yourself instead of draining yourself.
You have a strong emphasis on self-esteem and confidence. What techniques or strategies do you employ to help your clients boost their self-esteem and confidence?
Can you imagine yourself criticizing your best friend, calling him or her the worst possible names when he or she is failing and needs your support the most? You probably couldn’t if you are a real friend. You likely couldn’t say that to any person you care about. But why do you do that to yourself? Practice being your best friend. Select your actions and words carefully, treat yourself as if you are taking care of your beloved one. The more we do that, our brain rewires to think positively about ourselves.
You have to overwrite the programs you already have – if you’ve been thinking for many years that you are not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough, now you have to replace those thoughts with new, positive words. Use reminders, affirmations (positive phrases), repeat them in your mind constantly, and write them down. These new affirmations like “I am wonderful,” “I am talented,” “I am worthy” have to become a part of you. Repetition helps, collect evidence, learn to see all the good qualities in yourself. Gratitude practices are also very helpful (for example, before bed, think of or write down five things you are grateful for about yourself when reviewing your day).
Self-esteem is about who I am, what my perceived value is on this earth, and this term is more socially defined when we as personalities compare ourselves to others. But if we look beyond that – everyone is equally worthy to be on this earth; otherwise, we wouldn’t be here. Dogs and cats don’t question that. Who are we to judge and divide people? A good and difficult practice is to stop comparing yourself, stop judging yourself and others too, and focus on your own progress. Say “stop” every time you catch yourself judging, criticizing, blaming, or nagging. Eventually, it will work. We can increase our self-esteem by knowing ourselves better and learning to accept ourselves. It’s like falling in love with someone. Fall in love with yourself, pay attention, take care, and treat yourself well.
Confidence is about building muscles. You can increase it by acting. The more you do, the more experienced you become in a certain field, and the more confident you feel. So, the straightest way is to develop your skills, and you can only do that by failing more, learning more, and doing more. Finally, you reach the point where you feel confident. It is natural that if we start something new, we might not have enough confidence, and that’s totally fine. Everything where we can get a sense of mastery, “I can do it,” helps to increase our confidence – you can do sports, bake a nice cake, read a book, or clean a room. That is easy and works perfectly well. Get a victory first, and with all the confidence you gain, you can do the things you were hesitant about before.
Your work has taken you on a path of constant learning and growth. What motivates you to continuously explore new ideas and projects, and how does this benefit your clients?
This is who I am, my true nature. Curiosity and inner calling lead me to new ideas, projects, and studies. I am also attuned to my intuition and try to listen to it; it shows the right timing for my ideas. Sometimes I must wait for them for a few years or more to mature, sometimes it’s instant.
For those familiar with human design typology, I am a Manifestor, so my mission and nature are to initiate and start new things (by the way, this typology helped me a lot in understanding myself better and embracing who I am despite social conditioning). As a person, I am creative and artistic and highly interested in deeply understanding human nature, psychology, the way people think, feel, and act. Seeing a person implementing changes in their life, evolving, and starting to trust themselves more drives me. Also, a big part of that is knowing myself better and helping myself thrive – I can help others only when I’m in my best light, after going through a certain inner work.
Through my journey, I always share my stories and discoveries with people, clients, on social media, in articles, at events, etc. They get inspired by their own changes or take specific tips and tools that I recommend. I am delighted that, as I go on my journey, I can positively impact so many people, sometimes simply by being myself and living my life. All the projects are just the outcomes of me being me and following my path.
In your experience as a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) Consultant, what are some common challenges people face, and how do you help them overcome these challenges?
People often get stuck when they lose themselves in relationships, work, society’s “should be,” and forget who they are as authentic beings and what they want and need. They may not follow their desired path and dreams, leading to a loss of meaning. This might result in depression, anxiety, burnout, insomnia, toxic relationships, co-dependency, unhealthy perfectionism, procrastination, and many other emotional and lifestyle problems. I believe that these are just surface issues, and the root causes are deeper, beneath these symptoms. I aim to help individuals see themselves, start listening to their needs, wishes, and body signals, work with their thoughts (limiting beliefs) and regain their power.
You’ve been involved in various forms of public speaking and hosting events. What is the key to effective communication and connecting with an audience, and how can others apply these principles in their own lives?
I remember when I had my first big speech at the conference in front of 500 women, and I was worried about how it would work. My friend told me, “Your heart cannot fail.” This phrase guides me in every speech. I try to be authentic and speak from my heart. This is the best I can bring, not just my knowledge. Nowadays, you can find all the information online, but our uniqueness uplifts and creates the connection that people crave.
Speaking from the heart means speaking from the flow – there are no mistakes there, or they don’t make a significant difference. Speaking only from the mind mostly creates tension. You can confuse yourself, and the authenticity and your true voice, the feeling you want to create, can suddenly be lost.
First, be yourself; faking doesn’t feel good or create value, neither for you nor your audience. Second, let go of control – know the most important thing(s), your priorities, and forget about everything else. Don’t waste your focus on things you cannot know and control.
Third, think about others, not yourself. Remember, you are just a vessel to deliver what is needed for the audience. Ask higher powers to help you do that. When you don’t position yourself as all-knowing, an authority, or a “god,” you focus your energy on the people you serve, not on yourself and your insecurities. Everyone wins.
“Unleashing your nature and calling” is a theme in your work. Can you share an example of a client who underwent a transformative journey in this regard, and the impact it had on their life?
I remember one story very well; it was one of my first workshops. I had a heated argument with one of the attendees in front of everyone. After about a month, I received an email from this lady expressing her gratitude. She understood that she was not living life to the fullest and that she was completely lost when we first met. Because of our encounter, she made some instant changes. She travelled to the country she had always dreamed of visiting, started a new international project, and began enjoying life and finding happiness. I saw her smiling the last time I saw her in the city, riding a bike. Her initial reaction was just a huge resistance for changes that she finally overcame.
Another story is from my coaching clients. Throughout the session, we discussed his ambitious career plans and created a great strategy. However, I felt that something was missing, and at the end of the session, I asked him to pick a metaphorical card to redirect our attention from the mind to the heart. He chose the card named “Doing” with two colourful balls of knitting yarn and a sock. I thought, “Yes, career goals – just take some action.” He looked at the card and at me, saying, “I want a family…” It was not about his career at all! It took him only a year to get married and have a beautiful baby. Sometimes, all we need is to allow ourselves to hear what we truly want.
I have many stories about empowering my clients to pursue their dreams and happiness. They have created businesses and amazing projects, advanced their careers, changed professions, quit jobs to become freelancers or creators, taken long breaks to recover from burnouts or rediscover themselves, moved to other parts of the world, changed their lifestyles, left toxic relationships, or created beautiful ones. Sometimes, the most significant transformation is not about changing outer reality but about starting to love and appreciate oneself. I am immensely proud of each of my clients because all I did was help them discover their authenticity and inner truth. Everything else they did themselves, and it took a lot of courage. That inspires me greatly.
As an Inspirational Speaker, how do you approach the task of inspiring and motivating others? Can you share some memorable moments when your words had a profound impact on your audience?
My goal is to live my life to the fullest and share that with others from my heart. I’m sure people always take what they need at that moment. Of course, when you’re on stage with limited time and a significant responsibility, a lot of practice, professional training, and certain techniques help deliver a message more clearly and strongly. However, authenticity is the most important ingredient for me.
My audience is everyone around me, not just people in conference halls. I understand that all my words and actions influence others – I plant many seeds, not knowing which ones will grow and when. This applies to all of you too – the number of people we influence is much larger than we think. Most people won’t give you feedback because they assume that you already know how great and impactful you are or because they are too shy or busy. There are events when no one approaches you to give feedback, and you might assume you weren’t very good, but that’s not true, and it’s often not even about you. Sometimes, a person may come to me after a year or more and say how I inspired them to change their lives, such as changing professions or starting a business or believing in themselves more.
Another feedback-related story: When I taught a course at university for the first time, I didn’t see much enthusiasm in my students (or so I thought). I assumed I wasn’t creating much value and was planning to quit. However, I asked for feedback as a formal procedure and received answers that shocked me: “It was the most interesting subject in all four years,” “You changed the way I look at life,” “I will never forget the lessons you gave,” and more. I was completely wrong in my self-assessment. If we don’t ask for feedback, we may never know!
I now see how my students have grown into highly successful professionals. I’m proud of them, and it was an honour to be a part of their journey, inspiring them to be authentic and believe in themselves. One of my students, whom I taught in their freshman year, later volunteered at the conferences for women I organized. We stayed in touch, and now she is a Ph.D. student, an organizer of a big conference in the Baltics, and a recognized professional. Mentorship is also a crucial part of my life and work. I always try to help people around me if I have the opportunity and see how I can contribute.
You have a wide array of skills and knowledge. How do you integrate these different facets of your expertise into your coaching and speaking engagements to help individuals discover their authenticity and fulfil their dreams?
The most important skill is to create a connection with people and sense what they need at that specific time and place. My flexibility, alignment with intuition, and sincere interest in people’s inner worlds help me provide them with the most needed words and tools, giving them an individualized approach. I have a variety of tools and perspectives at my disposal, allowing me to create something unique for people with their unique stories. Of course, none of these would work if a person didn’t do his part. I do my my job at best, but the life is yours and you have to take the action. Changes start form you, the One and Only.
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