Turn your history into HER-STORY
By Holley Mignosi
Is the worst thing that has ever happened to you the best thing to share with your audience? Some experts say yes!
Sharing a challenging moment in your life may feel vulnerable and risky. And that’s because if it’s NOT done correctly it can be a disaster. Yet if done right, it can be deeply connecting and inspiring. And that’s exactly why you should do it. Here are three tips to turn your adversity into a signature story that captivates your audience, establishes credibility, and balances vulnerability.
Three tips to turn your history into “HER-STORY”
- Don’t Reveal what you haven’t healed.
We all love a story that has a happy ending. And that’s exactly what your audience is expecting from you as the expert. When we share our story, it must be from the place of resolution. In other words, we have resolved the challenge and now we can talk about it with ease and grace because we turned our adversity into victory.
Virtual and live stages are no place to share stories that have not been resolved. Is it ok to feel emotional? Of course, that will make you relatable. But the stage is no place to lose total composure while sharing stories that have no point. Save that for your best friend.
Instead, share with our audience the exact steps that created the victory. These steps could be part of your signature system. This is what your audience is looking for, the steps to create the same transformation in their life. You have the solution to their problem, and your story should illustrate this. Never reveal what you haven’t healed. Instead, share how you turned adversity into victory by revealing the steps.
- Share your adversity and victory with the right amount of vulnerability. I call this “Opening the Kimono”. We don’t want to reveal what we haven’t healed yet we must be open and vulnerable enough for the audience to feel compassion for us. Why? Because people will care more about your success if they have compassion for your struggle. When we share our failures it makes us relatable and the audience will root for you to win as they hear your story. It’s just like when we root for the underdog in a movie.
Your audience will often find you when they are in the middle of a similar challenge. For example, when I was a personal trainer my clients would seek me out when they had tried “everything” to get fit but nothing worked. Many were drawn to me because of my story of overcoming an addiction to drugs was relatable. Although they may not have been addicted to drugs, they were dealing with some type of addictive behaviour. And by seeing me as someone who beat addiction it gives them hope and inspiration that they can do it too. Plus, they automatically think “If she can do it, she must be able to show me how to do it.”
Remember, if you say how successful you are the audience can doubt it. But, if they say it to themselves, then it must be true. By sharing your victory with a sense of vulnerability you will achieve “relatability”, trust, and credibility.
- Share a Pinnacle that is twice as high as The Pit. I call the rock bottom moment of your story “The Pit”. And I call the happy ending of your story “The Pinnacle”, which means a high point. Most likely The Pinnacle is where you are now. You have turned your adversity into victory and now you get to help others do the same.
It’s a good rule of thumb to leave your audience on a high note. Now that you have “Opened the Kimono” with your audience and demonstrated that you got out of The Pit with your signature system, it’s time to showcase your credibility. You can share how your life has changed for the better. Perhaps you have attracted your soul mate, created your dream body, or turned rags to riches. You can also inspire and motivate the audience by sharing your client’s results, testimonials, and case studies.
I like to think of the story process like a roller-coaster ride. You took them on a ride that went down, deep into a dark scary tunnel. And in the end, you take them up high where they can see the light and a beautiful view of what’s possible. Consider taking them twice as high in The Pinnacle compared to the low of The Pit you will leave them wanting more every time.
You might be imagining a story right now that you would like to share with your audience. If so remember these tips: don’t reveal what you haven’t healed, yet be vulnerable enough to “Open the Kimono”. And leave your audience wanting more by sharing The Pinnacle that is twice as high as The Pit. So now it’s time for YOU my friend to captivate your audience with these three techniques. It’s time to turn your history into “HER-STORY”.