Find The Freedom You Deserve For a Positive Mindset
By Grace Ovba
Introduction: We all come in our lives with a lot of pain, emotional upheaval, abuse and a lot of unresolved issues. The question is: how do we cultivate the essential ingredients to bring about healing that leads ultimately to our freedom? “Freedom is not the right to live as we please, but the right to find how we ought to live in order to fulfil our potential” – Ralph W Emerson.
Currently, there is a lot going on in the world. The advent of COVID 19, indiscriminate killings and political unrest. People accusing the government of conspiracy, the governments’ conflicting response to the pandemic, people suffering loss of jobs, leading to confusion and economic chaos.
This highlights the fact that the people of the world need the truth and transparency. This also brings about people forgiving each other of past mistakes, which ultimately heals the society of anger, hatred, oppression, injustice and bitterness etc.
The truth will also require each person to look within and search their souls by asking ourselves the ‘hard questions’, like: “Am l angry at racism because maybe am on the receiving end? Would l support it if I were in a superior position? Do l hate people that look different from me? Am l part of the problem or part of the solution?” These are pertinent questions that need to be answered before passing judgement on others.
Ultimately, what we are witnessing is the battle between good and evil. Each person would have to take a stand; depending on their belief system or the facts they have come to know. The following steps are ways that can lead to a positive mindset.
Step 1: Forgiveness as a healing process
The famous quote states: “He who angers you, controls you.” In order to set yourself free (when ready of course), you ought to be willing to release the negativity of the past pain, hurt, resentment, fear, bitterness, hatred and anger. Instead, you need to focus on creating a better present and future.
Forgiveness is an intensely personal and complicated process. In the end, holding on to resentment, vengeance and anger destroys lives. In order to bring about healing, you need to forgive yourself and the other person who hurt you so deeply. When you let go, you are developing resilience, self-love and kindness towards yourself and the other party. Freedom and forgiveness are two powerful tools that are essential to living the most positive lives possible.
Forgiveness requires inner strength, which when embraced, encourages positivism in one’s life. When someone hurts you deeply it is natural to hold on to anger, hatred and bitterness. In most cases we can use all our power and strength to direct negative energy towards the person who hurt us – “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die” – Buddha. Forgiveness is a conscious effort to release feelings of hatred, resentment and vengeance towards the people who have hurt us in order to truly heal. (You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L Hay)
- Write down all hateful, angry and resentful thoughts towards the other person in a journal, and then set the journal on fire.
- Say: “I consciously and purposely release you from the pain that you’ve caused me”.
- I personally stopped staying in “victim mode” by continuing to share my story with other people who would listen.
- I prayed for the other person, wishing him or her well.
Step 2: Self-love
Let go of the hate and release love. Loving yourself is one of the miracles in life. Having great respect for ourselves, being grateful for our spirit, body and mind and beauty; in creation and compassion. We do not love ourselves when we criticise, maltreat our body through substance abuse, excessive eating and self-loathing. We need to be self-aware of all things that we need to let go – for example, limiting beliefs, negative thoughts and low self-esteem.
– Mirroring, say to yourself: “I love me for who I am, I am lovable.” We learn to do this self-affirmation while being relaxed. This brings about the vital healing process that leads to freedom from past trauma.
Step 3: Persistence in the face of challenges
Each challenging situation is used as a learning curve or experience – as you learn, you adapt, bringing a change within your mindset. You choose to grow with the challenge, results gained from the challenge are utilised as feedback, which in turn helps with the achievement we are seeking to make. This is creating conditions for successful outcomes we wish. The techniques which help you enhance your mindset to regain freedom are gratitude journaling, which consists of writing down things in a positive way. Expressing gratitude makes for positive reinforcement daily. Personal positive self-affirmation – leads to greater returns and freedom. When we reshape our mindset, we can achieve true freedom. It all starts with taking baby steps in our daily lives.
Step 4: Listen to the voices and see the vision
To have a positive mindset, and attempting to regain your freedom by finding your life purposes, can be frightening. My personal purpose in life is to utilise most of my experiences and adapt to everyday living as far as my authentic self can muster. Sometimes I hear myself crush dreams before bringing them to reality, by saying words like “it’s impossible”, “I’m not good enough”. Needless to say, the biggest dreams come from the real you, longing to be free. Often, we silence our deepest aspirations with negative thoughts until we hear them more. The creator steps in, using signs and messages around us.
Take note of your patterns of negative thoughts and use positive reinforcements to eradicate them (mindfulness/meditation). Allow ‘SILENCE’ in your life to enable you to hear yourself. Try replacing some busyness with sitting still for 10-20 minutes, quieten down and hear yourself breathe whilst, relaxing your body; you will feel all the tension leave your body, and will feel more relaxed. This helps in being more aware of your surroundings.
Step 5: Discover positive mentors, neighbours, friends and successful people
Mingling with positive people brings about positivism in your life because you hear positive stories, positive affirmations. Communicating with people who inspire you helps in regaining your confidence facilitating positive actions, which fuels the “you” you have always wanted to be.