The Light of the DARK ZONE
The Light of the DARK ZONE
How to reach the next power level
By Mirela Sula
People who have heard me speaking on stage, they know about my biggest topic that I always bring to their attention, and has now turned out to be my favourite one. It is called “The Dark Zone”. We all go through a curve which can start at any point, but most of the time we remember the peak starting point: When we start something exciting, that gives us hope for the future and our growth. As long as we see that we are growing, our curve goes up, but if for any reason something goes wrong (or in other words, not as we predicted it) then we see it going down. Sometimes the ups and downs don’t impact us, as long as we don’t get stuck, and we still see some light on the way that can help us stay away from darkness. But sometimes,if for any reason we feel that we don’t have control of it, that is point when we get scared of the “dark zone” approaching, and once we get there that’s it. That’s the end!
The truth is that, sooner or later, we all touch that zone, we all have to pass there, and in fact we all have been there. You may think it is darker for some, and lighter for others. Trust me, the only difference is how we respond towards it. It is not the event that hurts us, it is the perception and the ability to respond to it that does it.
This is what I was thinking while reading about the Caroline Flack tragic death this weekend. She was not able to cope with that “dark zone” and go through, to survive it. The fact is that when we work so hard and invest so much to win our passport on living in the “light zone” it is very hard to fight with any moment of darkness that can come to our life, at any time. Through my journey, not only seeing myself in that “dark zone” many times, but also hundreds of people that I have met and help to come through it, I have realised that everything is a cause and effect. The cause comes from inside, and then we experience effects outside. Everything we go through begins with a thought. Our thoughts tend to become material things. Each of us today is the result of the past thinking. We create our character, personality and environment by the thought, which we organise, or entertain. Thought is always seeking it’s own path.
“Growth is attained through an exchange of the old for the new, of the good for the better.”
Growth is attained through an exchange of the old for the new, of the good for the better. But sometimes we have to be prepared to pay for it, to pass the test. It is the test (the law of growth) and whether we like it or not, most of the time many people who are at the top today, they have confessed that the biggest light is found in that “dark zone”, which scares all of us.
I remember when I found myself there for the second time (the first time is completely deleted from my memory), I thought I had died, that was the end. This was the time when I lost my child, and I was ready to let myself go with her. But God/Universe, United Field, whoever/whatever is above me, had a bigger plan: I received the news that a new baby was coming in my life and that saved me. Don’t ask how did I get out of there, long story. But the truth is that once you start walking in the light you still have that fear that the dark can come at anytime, and you have no control on that. Well, remember, everything is a cause and effect.
Until we learn how to master our thinking, the dark can come at any time. Perhaps, the goal is not so much in how to avoid the “dark zone” but how to deal with it, how to respond and how to manage it. This is my big question today. Are you prepared to deal with your “dark zone” when it starts approaching your territory?
“The goal is not so much in how to avoid the “dark zone” but how to deal with it…”
Let me tell you what happened when I saw myself approaching that “dark zone” the third time. I blamed myself, “You are blind, stupid, how did you get there…” and I fall down there. I cried, screamed and tried to get out as soon as possible. This time I got out quicker and I prayed not to get back there again. Well, the reality is that I had to go there again, and again, and again. But, what I realised, is that everytime I get out of that dark hole much quicker. And not because the hole was easier to get out of but because I was more prepared.
Now, every time that I sense that a storm is coming to push me in that “dark zone”, I am equipped. Perhaps I can’t control the storm, I can’t stop it coming (even though I am aware that I may have contributed with my quality of thoughts to bring that experience) but I don’t blame myself anymore, I don’t let her down. I am always on her side and I am grateful that I am forgiven for all the past times that I was not able to show my love and support to her, especially in that “dark zone”. We all need other’s help when we are facing this fear, but what we need mostly is the “self-help”, that is the biggest challenge that we have to overcome, so when we see that “dark zone” approaching, we say “ah, I see you, I recognise you, I accept you, I honour you, I will deal with you…”. We are aware that we may need to spend some time there but once we manage to get out of it (and we all can) then it is what I call “Next Level”.
By going through this journey of visiting your “dark zones” regularly and not to be afraid of it, then you start gaining your real power, and the power that increases with you is permanent!
Before I finish, let me leave you with this quote from Buddha:
“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path”.
*Mirela Sula is the Founder of Global Woman and author of the books “Don’t Let Your Mind Go” “Don’t Let Your Love Go”. Coming soon “Who Will Marry Me” “Rich Mama, Poor Mama”, and “The Light of the Dark Zone”. Mirela is passionate about empowering women worldwide and always stands up for inclusion, diversity, gender balance and supporting the next generation. Her mission is to create a global movement to improve the future for women, by economically empowering each woman.