Award winning Chrissy B produces and hosts the UK’s ONLY TV show dedicated to mental healthand wellbeing. She is also the founder of the MHDChallenge (Mental Health Dance Challenge) the world’s 1st ever dance encouraging people to fight back against depression. Websites: www.chrissybshow.tv & www.mylifeafterdepression.com Email: [email protected]
I’m a wife, mother to two wonderful young children and a business woman. While I love and appreciate my life, there are times that I feel really overwhelmed and stressed as I find it hard to keep up with so many responsibilities. Then I feel guilty if I can’t get everything done that I set out to do. Any tips would be greatly appreciated.
I believe you have what I call the ‘Superwoman Syndrome’. You are one amongst millions of women around the globe who give themselves a very hard time.
We think we can be out the entire day making a difference in our workplaces and also have a hot meal on the table at the end of the day to feed our family and look gorgeous at the same time. And when we don’t quite make it, the guilt sets in. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why can’t we just accept the fact that we are mere mortals that also have our needs?
I think the issue starts with a very beautiful quality that we have which is our nurturing spirit. We have an inbuilt system that wants to care for people, to make them happy, to do our best. Whilst this is great about us women, it also has its downside when we start to take on too much because we don’t want to let anyone down. We tend to forget ourselves, so our general well-being gets affected and before we know it, we are on a downward spiral. What to do then?
- Let’s start by prioritising you. No, it’s not selfish. It’s smart, because when you are taking care of yourself well, you will have more to give to others and other things. Are you eating healthily, getting enough sleep and exercising? Are you having some ‘Me time’ every week where you dedicate a few hours to doing something that YOU like to do? I remember a period in my life where I would feel guilty for going out with friends. I would think that I should be using my time in a better way! I didn’t realise how much I needed that time to unwind and just to have a laugh and relax a bit.
- Do you have quality time with your children and family that doesn’t involve you running around looking after them? You need them just as much as they need you so set aside time to spend with them each week. It doesn’t have to be hours on end but the time you do spend together, ensure that it’s uninterrupted and with your full attention.
- Now if you’re reading the above and think that it’s unrealistic, we have an issue. No one should be THAT busy to the point where there is no ‘Me’ time or no family time so here are some ideas to save time:
– Is there a better, more efficient way of doing things?
– Do you need to employ more people for the business to run better?
– Do you need to upgrade any systems?
– Can you pass on any of your responsibilities to someone else to deal with and keep the things that only you can do? Many of us believe that ‘if you want something done well, you need to do it yourself.’ That’s not always the case. It’s great to entrust some responsibilities to others so that they can grow and develop too.
– Can your family help you out more at home? Even young children for example could have a few little responsibilities. It will make them feel grown up and trusted and you’ll have a bit less to do.
– Do you have anyone that can babysit for you from time to time so you can spend time on something else?
– Something that I often do it cook double the quantity of food that I need and freeze half of it for another day when I’m really busy or when I just want to take it a bit easier.
– How about a good decluttering session where you get rid of things in your home that you don’t need or use? There are lots of tips online on how to do this. There’s nothing better than a good clear out to save you time later. I love doing this because it really does cut your cleaning time drastically because things are more organised.
– Is there anything that you can let go of that is not that important but that is taking up your time? Check for example your social media usage.
– A “skill” that you and many of us may need to develop is to say ‘No’ to people sometimes. It may be a friend that asks you to go to an appointment with her but you know that if you do, you’ll be really behind in something more important. It’s okay to say, “I’m really sorry. I would love to but I really need to finish something off at home.” Of course, you’re not going to say no all the time, but we all need to set our boundaries or else we can feel overwhelmed.
I hope this helps Rosie. Remember, none of us are perfect, and a few tasks not done here and there is not the end of the world. Do what you can, and what you can’t, leave for another day, and then relax. 🙂
Got a question for Chrissy? Email [email protected]