How to Improve Your Self-Esteem in 5 Steps
By Mirela Sula
- Stop Criticizing Yourself
The very first thing that you need to start doing in order to increase your self-esteem is to stop criticizing yourself. Yes, it’s such a simple thing to stop, because that is the biggest enemy that is going to fight you every single day. It’s that little voice that is criticizing you all the time. Now, how can you stop this? There are so many ways because you have to understand we all make mistakes. We are all human beings, and we sometimes mess it up. But you have to be kind to yourself. How can you expect other people to be kind to you if you are not kind to yourself? So, forgive yourself and stop criticizing everything because you are your best friend. You are the best voice for yourself. And if it happens that you have messed it up, say, “OK, what is the lesson? Let’s learn what we were meant to learn?” and move on and forgive yourself.
- Identify Your Gifts
Step number two is identifying all your gifts. All the resources, all the talents and everything that you have invested in yourself or the gifts that you were born with. I’m sure you have a lot. I meet many people who tell me “I’m not sure what my gifts are, what my talents are. And I’m sure I’m not sure I have something.” But I guarantee that you have something. You just need to be patient. And by being nice to yourself, you’ll be amazed. You’ll be surprised at how many gifts you’ll discover from this. So, focus on what is great about yourself as you start learning to stop criticizing yourself, you will see, and you’ll understand that the next one is all about loving yourself and being kind with yourself and identifying all the gifts and talents instead of all the weaknesses.
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- Surround yourself with positive people.
Step number three is all about people, people, people! If you’re hanging around with people who are psycho-vampires and telling you how bad and negative you are or asking you why you are doing this or that then you have to find the right people because you are the average of 5 people you spend most of your time with. If you’re spending time with these psycho-vampires who are telling you that you are not capable of doing what you were meant to do, then that means that your self-esteem is going down and down. So, choose positive people around you. Choose the people who believe in you, who trust you and nourish and inspire you to achieve your dreams and be the best version of yourself. Find these people; they are around you. You just need to carefully find who those people are who are going to lift you up because remember this, people can make you or break you.
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- Use Positive Affirmations.
Sometimes it’s difficult to stop criticizing yourself or to focus on your strengths or find the right people because your mind is blowing up with a lot of negative thinking all the time. So, how do you stop the negative thinking – use positive affirmations. Use your own mantra. Just find something that makes you feel great and start repeating that over and over and over again. Put it all over your wall, in your bedroom, in your living room, wherever you are. Just put how amazing you are. Write “I’m amazing. I’m beautiful. I can do this”. Use positive affirmations and keep repeating them all the time because that starts becoming your own reality.
- Stop Comparing Yourself to Others.
One more big thing, which is so important, is to stop comparing yourself with others. This is the biggest mistake that people keep making over and over again and why people are not happy. I ask this question all of the time, wherever I go or when I’m speaking, I say “I have a question for you. Why are people not happy?” They give me all kinds of answers. That’s the reason why people are not happy. That’s the reason why people have low self-esteem because they keep comparing themselves with others. Are you doing the same? If you’re doing the same just stop it. You can do this; you just compare yourself with your yesterday-self. Don’t feel inferior to others, don’t compare yourself with them. Just feel a little bit better than you were yesterday and you’ll see how your life will change forever.