Rising Above: How Grief Became My Greatest Teacher

In the face of profound loss, it’s easy to feel as though the world has stopped turning. For many, grief is a heavy burden, one that can feel impossible to bear. But for Aulona, it became a powerful teacher, guiding her through some of life’s darkest moments. In this deeply personal journey, she discovered that surrendering to pain, instead of fighting it, could unlock a strength she never knew existed. Through unimaginable heartache, she learned that healing isn’t about rushing past the pain, but about allowing it to reshape and refine you. Join Aulona as she reflects on how grief shaped her resilience, transformed her mindset, and ultimately helped her rise above the challenges that once seemed insurmountable.

What inspired you to study law, and how has your legal background influenced your approach to life and business?

I grew up with a deep love for literature, but when the time came to choose my degree,  law was very prestigious and a highly competitive field, so it became a personal challenge. It wasn’t my dream to begin with, but the drive to excel and prove myself pushed me to take it on. I learned to love it, and even dreamed of becoming a criminal prosecutor, a dream that, while it never became reality, shaped much of who I am today.

My legal background has instilled in me discipline, and attention to detail, and strengthened my resilience. The skills I’ve gained have taught me to approach life with care, responsibility, and a sense of purpose. Though my journey diverged from my initial ambitions, the lessons and values I’ve carried from that path continue to guide me, enriching my personal and professional life in meaningful ways.

Law has always represented a big challenge in my journey, especially when I went back to studying while raising my children and always will be the dream I didn’t get to live, yet!

How did you balance being a wife, mother, and entrepreneur during those formative years?

Being a wife and a mother has been my greatest accomplishment, a role that has shaped my life in profound ways and has given me joy beyond words. It hasn’t been without its challenges, responsibilities, and periods of adjustment, but love has always made it worthwhile.

I was blessed with a very supportive husband, and together we made the perfect team. At just 25, we ventured into entrepreneurship, starting our first business while building our family. Juggling the roles of wife, mother, and entrepreneur became my normal. This role came with sacrifices, I decided to sacrifice my legal career to build and grow the business.

Our relationship was based on mutual respect and values, a deep understanding of each other’s needs, and an unwavering love for our family. We always put each other first, ensuring that our partnership remained strong and our home was filled with warmth and care. It was this balance of love and teamwork that allowed us to grow, both as individuals and as a family.

The loss of your father during the COVID lockdown and almost losing your mother must have been incredibly painful. What did you learn about grief and resilience during that time?

After losing my father, our family was thrown into shock. My mother was utterly heartbroken, and my sister, pregnant at the time and living in the US, went into labor amidst the chaos.

Suddenly, I found myself in a role I didn’t want, one I hadn’t prepared for, I had to be the one to hold everything together, to keep the balance, and to try to help everyone stay sane. I put my own grief on hold, convincing myself that there was no space or time for it.

Even now, almost five years later, I still haven’t truly mourned his loss. That pain has lingered, layered with the weight of other losses, grief, and heartbreak. But through it all, I’ve learned that no matter how much you want to hide the pain or pretend you’re okay, there is no shortcut through grief. You have to let yourself feel it, to go through it with patience, self-love, and acceptance. It’s not easy, it’s messy, raw, and deeply human, but it’s the only way to heal and honour your heart. The thing I struggled the most with, was accepting the tragic fate of mourning my husband while he was still alive. And it was only when I surrendered and fully accepted his fate in my heart that he decided to go, two and a half years after his cardiac arrest. Surrendering to pain helped me deal with grief.

After closing the family business, you transitioned to working in the learning support department at your children’s school. What did you learn from this role, and how did it help you during that period of your life?

When I stepped into my role at the department, I was wholly unprepared for what lay ahead. Over the course of two transformative years, I worked closely with teenage boys and young adults aged 11 to 18. It was a journey that opened my eyes to the world of neurodiversity and profoundly reshaped my perspective. I gained invaluable understanding, which deepened my compassion and strengthened my ability to provide support.

The greatest gift from this experience, however, was the impact it had on my relationship with my own sons. It allowed me to see the world through their eyes, understanding their challenges in the school environment and connecting with them on a deeper level. It made me a better mother, more empathetic, patient, and attuned to their needs.

During one of the hardest periods of my life, Richard Challoner School became a lifeline. While my own family was breaking, the community there embraced me like one of their own. It became a sanctuary, nurturing, loving, and supportive, laying the foundation for me to rebuild and create a new life. For that, I will always be deeply grateful.

Starting a buy-to-let property business is an impressive pivot. What inspired you to pursue this path, and what has been your biggest lesson in property development so far?

My journey into the property world began with our scaffolding business, where I worked closely with property developers and gained firsthand insight into how the industry operates. This experience sparked a deeper passion for property, a passion I’ve carried for years, whether it was rearranging interiors, moving walls, or opening up spaces to transform a home.

When we bought our own house, I had the opportunity to put that passion into practice. From designing the loft conversion to planning the extension, I immersed myself in the process, making bold changes that brought our vision to life. It was a labor of love and a reminder of how fulfilling it is to shape a space and see it evolve.

When the time came to take this passion further, I realized I was ready. The biggest lesson I’ve learned along the way is to trust myself, to step confidently into a male-dominated industry and to know I have what it takes to succeed. Where I once hesitated, I now embrace the challenge, proud to stand tall as a woman in this field.

Looking back, I can’t help but smile at the years I spent watching “Homes Under the Hammer.” Little did I know, it was preparing me for this journey all along!

Your story is one of resilience and reinvention. What mindset shifts helped you transform your life after such profound losses?

After all the loss and heartbreak, the biggest mindset shift that transformed my life was realising that, even in the face of pain and uncertainty, I am still in control of how I choose to respond to what happens to me. It was a powerful awakening, the understanding that while I couldn’t change the past or the challenges life threw my way, I could reclaim my power by deciding how I let them shape me. That realisation became my anchor, guiding me from despair to hope, and from surviving to truly living again.

Looking back, what are you most proud of in your journey so far?

The thing I am most proud of in my journey is that, despite everything life threw at me, I refused to be a victim of my circumstances. Instead, I chose to rise, to fight, and to believe in a brighter tomorrow. It wasn’t easy, but in every tear and every challenge, I found strength I didn’t know I had. That strength is what carries me forward, reminding me that I am more than what has happened to me. I am what I choose to become!