More Happy, Less Crappy: Holly Matthews’ No-Nonsense Guide to Self-Development

Holly Matthews, former TV actress turned self-development coach, is the founder of *The Happy Me Project*, an award-winning membership, podcast, and best-selling book series focused on straightforward personal growth. With a career spanning shows like *Waterloo Road* and *Casualty*, Holly has transitioned into a leading voice in self-development, sharing her insights on platforms like BBC, ITV, and major publications including *The Daily Mail* and *Psychologies Magazine*. Her TED Talk has captivated over half a million viewers, and her relatable, raw approach has earned her the title of “motivator in chief” on BBC Radio. Holly’s work, deeply informed by her neurodivergent journey with ADHD, emphasizes accessibility for all. She’s a qualified life coach, NLP practitioner, and hypnotherapist, coaching thousands globally, from everyday individuals to celebrities. Her debut book, *The Happy Me Project*, hit #1 on Amazon and was named *Health and Wellbeing* Magazine’s Best Wellbeing Book of 2022. Holly’s latest release, *Find Your Confidence*, continues to shake up conversations around confidence and self-belief.

You’ve had such a diverse career, from acting in TV shows like *Waterloo Road* and *Byker Grove* to founding The Happy Me Project. How has your journey in entertainment influenced your approach to self-development? 

Growing up on TV and having cultivated the ability to tell a good story, whilst also having the skills to present it in a way that engages my audience has undoubtedly supported me. 

From a personal point of view being the ‘kid of the telly’ is the reason I began my self-development journey and had me seeking out ways to feel good at a time when I most definitely did not feel that way. 

I also think being an actor helps you understand how to walk in someone else’s shoes. My job as an actress is to get to know the character, learn what makes her tick, her passions, her fears etc. and then pretend to be her. My job as a coach is to get to know, my clients and help them find the solutions to support them in their life and work. The work can be similar I just don’t pretend to be my clients (I promise ha-ha) 

As a self-development coach and founder of The Happy Me Project, what was the inspiration behind starting this initiative, and how do you balance your coaching work with your personal life? 

I started The Happy Me Project specifically in that form as a response to my husband Ross’s death the brain cancer. During his illness, I stepped out of the limelight of acting and tapped into what I knew about mindset work. During the time Ross was in the hospice and ending his life I had a huge number of eyes on me. The press covered Ross’s death extensively and I had hundreds of messages from men and women across the world asking for advice. My answer was The Happy Me project which was initially a self-study course that was recorded at the bottom of my stairs on my phone (notes scribbled on the back of an envelope) and pushed out into the world without pomp or ceremony, but just merely an answer to peoples cry for support. 

I have never had a ‘proper job’ so I guess I don’t know any different in terms of ‘balance’. I have always juggled, and I have never had a strict structure. I work best in the bouncy days and although I have to be mindful not to overwhelm myself I have learnt I am only good at one thing at in moment and the expectation of any real balance is probably a pipe dream. 

Your TED Talk has been watched by half a million people. What message from that talk do you feel resonates most with your audience, and how has it shaped your career since? 

I wanted to do a TED talk for years before actually doing it. It was a personal goal as a TEDx fan. When I did the talk, it felt like an important transition away from acting and playing a role and stepping into a stage of vulnerability and being myself on stage. The message people take away is that I don’t believe in toxic positivity but living in the pockets between the challenges and noticing when we are in our ‘joy’. I talk about our responsibility in our happiness journey and how although we must reach out for help and support, no one is coming to save us and do this for us. 

You’ve been open about your experience with ADHD. How has being neurodivergent impacted your approach to coaching, and how do you make self-development accessible to people across all brain types? 

Being a person with ADHD informs my work by default in that people who are neurodivergent will likely resonate with my style because they see themselves in my styling or delivery, but I also really make an effort to learn how I can make my work accessible. This is making sure my work can be consumed in various ways (written, audio and video), by asking neurodivergent guests and clients to events online or in person what accommodations might help them and by listening to my audience. 

Your first book, *The Happy Me Project*, became a best-seller, and now your second book, *Find Your Confidence*, has already gained momentum. Can you share some insights into what sets your new book apart and how it addresses the topic of confidence? 

I am so excited to share my second book because it feels like a bringing together of my two worlds (acting and coaching). I have broken down this book into 9 areas we might ‘dip’ in our confidence including public speaking, standing up for yourself, appearance, parenting, socialising, work life, job interviews and starting something new. In each chapter, I share ideas and tools both externally (using body language and my acting self) and then internally (using intuitive and positive psychology tools from my coaching work). I feel passionately that confidence can be built and we are not just born with or without.  

My style is very bitesize, punchy and relatable and within each chapter, we have guest experts including Brit-winning popstar Becky Hilly and award-winning Psychotherapist Anna Mathur. 

As a widowed mother of two, how have your personal experiences shaped how you connect with and coach others, particularly when overcoming adversity and building resilience? 

People tend to know my story when they come to me and I think this allows them to see that I have walked this path myself, that I’m not sitting in my ivory tower asking them to do things I haven’t done myself and that I continue to use the tools ai teach them in my own life. From my point of view, it gives me a level of empathy towards my client’s challenges in a deeper way before becoming a widow.

You’ve worked with a wide range of clients, from mums to Brit Award-winning pop stars. How do you tailor your coaching to fit the different needs of such a diverse group of people? 

We are all the same. We are all scared, none of us is sure we are doing the right thing, and we are all just doing our best. That is the same no matter who we are, and I listen to every client with the same respect and understanding. Compassion across the board. 

Your no-nonsense approach to self-development makes The Happy Me Project so successful. Why do you think this straightforward, relatable method resonates deeply with your followers? 

I talk like them, I make mistakes and I don’t pretend otherwise. They also watch my success and this allows them to see how they might find their own. I allow my clients to see that you can be the most you that you can be, with mistakes and mess and chaos and all and you can still win. 

You’ve been a frequent guest on radio, TV, and podcasts as the ‘motivator in chief.’ What are some of the most common self-development misconceptions, and how do you address them in your media appearances? 

Having a brand called The Happy Me project can come with the idea that we have to always be bright, shiny and happy and I am always sharing that ‘toxic positivity’ which pretends that shit things don’t happen is not my bag. I am about looking the tiger in the eye and facing our challenges head-on (with pure self-compassion). Sometimes I think people see the ‘woo woo’ spiritual; style of self-development and it turns them off to the idea they could use the tools and that is simply not me. I say to everyone who works with me that I bring the straight-talking self-development and you can add the ‘woo’ or your religious beliefs and they can all sit side by side.

With a growing social media following of over 60,000+ people, how do you ensure your content remains authentic and impactful, and what do you hope your followers take away from your posts? 

 I get bored easily so I am always evolving and changing my approach. My followers will likely see this in my posts. I talk in my voice and many tell me it feels like I am talking directly to them and that’s because I am! I think about my clients before writing each post. What scares them, and excites them and I try to ‘walk in their shoes’ just like I did as an actress. I hope my followers feel seen and heard, I will never patronise nor pretend that life isn’t hard sometimes and that seems to connect.