Confidence Is the New Currency: How Women Build Power on Their Own Terms

By Carelle Herrera

What if confidence wasn’t something you had—but something you did? Most of us grew up with a narrow idea of what confidence looks like: the loudest voice in the room, the boldest pitch, the person who never seems to second-guess herself. But the most powerful women I know don’t operate that way. They aren’t loud. They’re rooted. Their power doesn’t come from certainty—it comes from alignment. And the science is finally catching up to what we’ve always sensed: confidence isn’t a trait. It’s a trainable skill.

The Confidence Myth

You’ve heard it before: “Fake it till you make it.”
It’s catchy, but it’s also incomplete. Neuroscience and NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) suggest that pretending alone rarely rewires your brain in a lasting way. If anything, faking it while feeling like a fraud can deepen self-doubt.

Real confidence—the kind that helps you walk into a room and lead, even when you’re nervous—is built through repeated signals of internal safety. Not ego. Not perfection. But proof to your nervous system that you can show up, survive challenge, and still be whole.

This is why affirmations don’t always work unless they’re paired with action. Your brain craves evidence, not empty slogans.

How the Brain Builds Belief

Here’s what the science tells us: every time you take a small, self-affirming action—even a 5-minute daily ritual—you strengthen the neural pathways associated with clarity, capability, and courage. It’s called neuroplasticity, and it’s how your brain builds belief.

In positive psychology, researchers call this behavioral activation. In NLP, we talk about anchors—intentional actions or routines that shift your emotional state.

The bottom line? Your brain doesn’t care how big your step is. It only cares that you took it. Consistently.

My Turning Point

Standing in front of more than a hundred Accenture leaders—including their executive committee—can be intimidating. These are high-performing minds, brilliant strategists, accomplished executives. And even after doing this work with L’Oréal, Shell, Toyota, and Philip Morris, there’s still a flicker of doubt: What do I have to teach them?

That voice was louder in my earlier years. But I’ve learned not to silence it—I’ve learned to practice something deeper than fear: clarity of purpose.

Early in my career, I didn’t yet have decades of credentials or global logos on my client list. But I had curiosity, care, and discipline. I applied the tools of NLP and neuroscience to myself first. I practiced on my family. I practiced on friends. I obsessed over understanding people. And I discovered that change doesn’t start with motivation. It starts with mindset.

There’s a quote I used to live by:
“I was never really a brave man, so I acted like one until I became one.”

Some call that faking it. I never did. Because there’s nothing fake about practice.

I practiced the physiology of grounded presence.
I practiced the psychology of leadership.
I practiced the belief systems that helped me stay steady in rooms filled with power.

Today, I still feel the butterflies. I still get cold hands. But I’ve trained my brain to interpret those signals as energy, not threat. I pause. I ask: What do I need right now? I remember why I’m there—to serve.

Then I look at the room. Not their titles. Their humanity. Their posture. Their weariness. And I think:
“I will take care of these people today.”

Because confidence isn’t the absence of fear.
It’s what you choose to do despite it.
And what you do consistently becomes who you are.

That’s what I’ve practiced—for over 30 years.
Not perfection. Not performance.
Just showing up again and again as the version of myself I’m becoming.

A Practice You Can Start Today

One of the most powerful lessons I teach through BrainStrong is this: confidence doesn’t begin with self-belief—it begins with self-honesty.

So instead of pretending to feel brave, try this instead:

• Acknowledge what you’re feeling—without judgment. “I feel nervous. I feel unsure.”
• Name what matters. Ask: What do I want to stand for right now?
• Choose one small, brave action. Not to impress others—but to align with yourself.

Confidence grows through integrity. When your actions reflect your values—even in discomfort—your brain begins to trust you. And that’s where real confidence begins.

Conclusion: Redefine Power on Your Terms

Confidence isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you build—one practice, one moment, one insight at a time.

And that’s good news. Because it means you don’t have to wait until you feel ready. You can act into belief. You can choose to become more.

Because the world doesn’t need louder voices. It needs rooted women.