The Beauty in Becoming: Embracing Life’s Seasons of Transformation
by Natalia Jansen
As the founder of Starring In Your Life, one of the core truths I teach is that transformation doesn’t follow a straight line. It flows in cycles. Just as nature moves through seasons: spring, summer, fall, winter, so do our lives. We experience moments of blooming, thriving, letting go, and turning inward. And all of it is sacred. There is a rhythm to life, an order deeper than our timelines and to-do lists. Day follows night, and night follows day. It’s not personal, it’s universal. And when we forget this, we tend to resist the winter seasons of our life: the pauses, the unravelings, the uncertain in-betweens. But what if these seasons aren’t setbacks? What if they are necessary stages in our unfolding?
The Cocoon and the Crisis of Becoming
Rev. Gregory Toole from the Redondo Beach Center for Spiritual Living recently shared a powerful metaphor that struck a deep chord with me. He spoke about the transformation of a caterpillar into a butterfly, a process that requires total disintegration inside the cocoon. Yes, you read that right. The caterpillar doesn’t just grow wings. It dissolves. It becomes unrecognizable. And only then can the cells rearrange into something breathtakingly new. But here’s the most astonishing part: the struggle to emerge from the chrysalis is what gives the butterfly the strength it needs to fly. If someone tries to help by easing the struggle, cracking open the shell too soon, the butterfly survives but it can’t soar. The wings need pressure to develop power. How often do we forget this when it comes to ourselves?
When You’re in the Cocoon Phase
I’ll be honest with you. Right now, I am in one of those cocoon seasons. It’s disorienting. Things that once made sense don’t anymore. The structures I built around me are shifting. The clarity I crave is momentarily out of reach. But this time, I’m not panicking. I know this part of the cycle. I know that, like the caterpillar, the disintegration is not the end, it’s the messy, magical middle. The place where the old self dissolves to make room for the star I am becoming. If you find yourself in that in-between place, hear me when I say: nothing has gone wrong. You are not lost. You are becoming. You are right on time.
All Content Is Neutral
In my coaching practice, I often teach this foundational principle: content is neutral. We are the ones who assign meaning to it. The same event: a breakup, a layoff, a move, or a moment of stillness; can be interpreted as a tragedy or a turning point. It all depends on the story we tell about it. Think of the parable of the farmer whose son breaks his leg falling from a horse. The neighbors call it a tragedy. The farmer simply says, “Maybe.” Then war breaks out, and all able-bodied sons are drafted; except his. The neighbors say he’s lucky. Again, he replies, “Maybe.” There is wisdom in that neutrality, in learning to pause, not rush to label things as good or bad. When we resist what is, we suffer. But when we accept the moment as part of our unfolding, we move into flow.
Practicing the Art of Flow
Being the star in your life doesn’t mean always being in the spotlight. Sometimes it means sitting backstage, preparing for your next act. Sometimes it means trusting that the script is still being written. Flow is not passive. It’s a conscious choice to trust life’s direction even when you can’t see the full stage. So how do we practice this?
- Pause the judgment. Instead of reacting, get curious. What if this is happening for me?
- Make an appointment with the fear. Don’t let it hijack your moment. Observe it. Let it inform you, not paralyze you.
- Ask better questions. Not “Why is this happening?” but “What strength is this building in me?”
- Trust the timing. You are not behind. You are being perfectly prepared for what’s next.
The Spotlight Returns
Winter doesn’t last forever. The cocoon isn’t permanent. If you’re in the quiet season of your journey: a disorienting stretch of stillness or a painful period of endings, know this: spring always returns. And when it does, you will rise. You will stretch your wings. You will find yourself starring in a life you once only imagined. This is the wisdom of the cycle. The promise of transformation. The gift of flow. So hang in there. The spotlight is coming. And when it does, it’s your time to soar.
