The Missing Pillar of Success: Why Well-Being Is the Foundation We Can’t Afford to Ignore

By Ellen Duffy-Lueb

When we talk about success, the conversation almost always circles around two things: wealth and power. The thriving business. The growing team. The recognition and influence that come with hard work and achievement. But for many women, especially those leading in international, high-demand environments: these two pillars have long defined what it means to “make it.”

When Success Comes at a Cost

There’s a problem with this definition of success. When we build our lives and businesses on only two legs, wealth and power, we’re sitting on a two-legged stool. And as Arianna Huffington famously learned the hard way, you will fall every time. Two years after founding The Huffington Post, Arianna Huffington collapsed from exhaustion. She was working around the clock, believing she was doing everything right. Her company was thriving, her influence growing yet her body couldn’t keep up. That experience became her wake-up call and later, the foundation of her mission to redefine success. Arianna realized that true success has a third pillar: well-being. In my own work with women in international organizations and leadership roles, I see the same pattern again and again. Brilliant, capable women doing extraordinary things, yet running on empty. They’re achieving, yes, but they’re not thriving.

The Third Pillar: Well-Being

When we ignore our well-being, we cut off the very energy that fuels everything else: our clarity, creativity, decision-making, and resilience. Well-being isn’t about bubble baths and meditation (though those can help). It’s about managing your energy, not just your time. It’s about creating enough space to think clearly, to rest deeply, and to reconnect with what truly matters. Ironically, it’s often when we slow down that we begin to speed up: sustainably. Arianna Huffington now sleeps seven to nine hours a night, takes time to walk, meditate, and practice yoga daily. She insists she accomplishes more now than she ever did before her burnout. It may sound counterintuitive, but it’s not. Because when your energy is aligned, your output multiplies. Many of the women I coach have spent years proving their capability in demanding global environments. They’ve built careers rooted in competence, commitment, and care. But these same qualities, when unchecked, can lead to overextension. We say yes when we mean maybe. We take on responsibility that isn’t ours to carry. We believe that the more we do, the more valuable we become. But constant over-giving doesn’t lead to sustainable success it leads to depletion. And when we are depleted, we can’t lead with vision, presence, or joy.

Redefining What It Means to Thrive

Imagine if we redefined success not by how much we achieve, but by how well we feel while achieving it. Imagine leadership models that reward clarity, calm, and compassion; not just speed, sacrifice, and stamina. This is what I call the shift from surviving to thriving. It’s not just a mindset change; it’s a strategic one. Thriving leaders lead thriving teams. When we are rested, grounded, and aligned, we make better decisions, communicate more effectively, and inspire more authentically.

Well-being isn’t a luxury, it’s a leadership skill.

If you’ve been running fast and feeling like it’s never enough, here are three simple but powerful shifts to bring the third pillar back into balance:

1. Check your circle of control.
Not everything that demands your attention deserves your energy. Ask yourself regularly: Is this mine to carry? Focus on what you can influence and let go of the rest.

2. Rest as a strategy, not a reward.
You don’t have to earn your rest, you need it to sustain your impact. Build recovery time into your day the way you schedule meetings: intentionally.

3. Reconnect with purpose.
When your actions align with what truly matters, energy flows naturally. Take moments to pause, breathe, and realign with the “why” behind your work.

These aren’t luxuries; they’re lifelines for you, your team, and your business.

The Real Measure of Success

At the end of the day, no amount of wealth or power can make up for the absence of well-being. Because if success costs you your health, joy, or sense of self, it’s simply too expensive. True success isn’t about doing more, it’s about doing what matters with energy, purpose, and presence. When we embrace well-being as the third pillar of success, we don’t just build stronger businesses. We build stronger women and a world where thriving, not burning out, becomes the new definition of achievement.