Take Back the Driver’s Seat: How to Reclaim Your Time and Energy
By Ellen Duffy-Lueb
As women entrepreneurs, leaders, and changemakers, we’ve learned to navigate complexity — juggling clients, teams, families, and ambitions. Yet, amidst all that momentum, there’s one thing many of us quietly lose along the way: control of our own time and energy. We plan, we deliver, we show up, but how often do we truly pause to ask, “Where is my energy going, and am I spending it wisely?” Because here’s the truth: no one else will protect your time and energy for you. Not your team, not your clients, and not even your well-meaning loved ones. That job is yours.
Why So Many Women Struggle to Take Control
We’re taught from a young age to be responsive, to do what’s expected of us. Parents, teachers, bosses, and society all shape how we show up. But rarely are we taught how to manage ourselves — our energy, focus, and capacity. Instead, we learn to manage everything around us. And in today’s world of constant connection — notifications, news, messages, and demands — our attention has become the most valuable (and most stolen) currency. It’s no wonder so many talented women find themselves drained, distracted, or running on autopilot. We are experts at giving away our energy but often beginners at replenishing it. If that resonates, here’s your gentle reminder: taking control of your time and energy isn’t selfish — it’s strategic self-leadership. It’s the foundation for your impact, creativity, and sustainable success.
How to Reclaim Control: Three Steps to Rebalance Your Time and Energy
Reclaiming your energy doesn’t require a life overhaul. It starts with simple, intentional shifts. Here are three powerful steps that will help you take back the driver’s seat and lead from a place of calm, clarity, and confidence.
Step 1: Turn the Focus Back to You
You are the engine of everything you create. And like any engine, if you don’t maintain it, it won’t perform at its best. Ask yourself:
What actually fuels me?
What consistently drains me?
What boundaries have I been neglecting because I’m afraid to disappoint others?
Reclaiming control starts with radical self-honesty. This isn’t about perfection — it’s about awareness. When you consciously prioritize your own energy, you naturally show up stronger, calmer, and more creative, for everyone and everything that depends on you. When you function at your best, your business benefits, your relationships thrive, and your confidence grows.
Step 2: Nourish Yourself — Body, Mind, and Soul
Taking control of your energy means learning to nourish, not just feed, yourself.
Body: The quality of your fuel determines the quality of your energy. Highly processed or sugary foods may give you a temporary boost, but they eventually drain your system. Choose foods that sustain focus and energy — fresh fruits, vegetables, protein, healthy fats, and plenty of hydration. It’s not about restriction; it’s about intention. Every bite is either giving you energy or taking it away.
Mind: What we consume mentally is just as powerful as what we eat. News alerts, social media, and negative conversations quietly chip away at focus. Ask yourself: does this information empower me or exhaust me? Protecting your mental space is an act of self-respect. That might mean turning off notifications, setting “no scroll” hours, or surrounding yourself with content and people who inspire instead of drain you.
Soul: Your energy depends on emotional nourishment — joy, purpose, connection. What lights you up? What restores your sense of peace and meaning? Whether it’s dancing, journaling, walking in nature, or laughing with someone dear — these aren’t luxuries. They are your energetic reset buttons.
Step 3: Reclaim Your Power of Choice
Here’s the empowering truth: you always have a choice. Every “yes” and every “no” directs your time and energy somewhere. Yet many women still operate as if they have none — saying yes out of guilt, obligation, or fear of missing out. But each time you say “yes” to something that drains you, you’re saying “no” to something that could nourish you. Taking back your time and energy is about conscious choosing: Choosing when to engage and when to rest. Choosing what truly deserves your attention. Choosing what version of yourself you want to bring to your day. It’s not about control for the sake of control — it’s about freedom. Freedom to design your days around what matters most. Freedom to create success that feels aligned, not exhausting.
You Are in Charge of Your Own Energy
If you take one thing away, let it be this: no one else will manage your energy better than you can. And that’s a beautiful thing, because it means the power is already in your hands. When you decide to stop running on empty and start fueling yourself intentionally, everything shifts — your clarity, your confidence, and your capacity to lead. So, take a moment today to check in with yourself: Where is your energy going, and are you spending it wisely? Because you deserve to feel energized, focused, and fully in control of your own life.
