Tiffany J: Turning Life’s Tests into Lessons of Love
She’s known as The Love Phenom—a speaker, author, and certified relationship coach who transforms life’s toughest challenges into lessons of resilience and love. From teenage motherhood to beating cancer and earning four degrees, Tiffany J now empowers others to build authentic connections, heal deeply, and lead with purpose. With a no-fluff, heart-centered approach, she helps people rewrite their stories and discover the strength within. Today, Tiffany J is on a mission to show the world that even in life’s hardest moments, love is always the answer.
You became a mom before high school. What gave you the strength to keep going and finish school?
Honestly, my daughter was my “why.” At 15, when most people counted me out, I knew I couldn’t quit because I wasn’t just living for myself anymore. Although I only had my daughter at 15, both of my children are still my “why.” I wanted them to see that no matter how hard life gets, you can finish what you start and rise above your circumstances. Sports also taught me discipline and teamwork, which carried over into my life and gave me the determination to graduate on time. And my Great Grandma, Minnie Lee, gave me words I still live by: “You have to know who you are, and as long as you know that, no one can tell you who you are.” That wisdom became my anchor then, and it still guides me now. I also was really blessed to have a strong support system in my parents.
You’ve survived cancer and raised two kids as a single mom—what kept you hopeful during those hard times?
My faith and my vision for a better future kept me going. Even when I was diagnosed with cervical cancer at 16 or juggling motherhood, school, and work, I reminded myself that pain is temporary, but purpose is lasting. I wanted my children to see strength in action, not just hear about it.
When did you first realize you wanted to help others through coaching?
My journey showed me that so many people carry silent struggles—whether in relationships, career, or self-worth. Overcoming abusive relationships, healing, and learning to love myself again gave me the passion to help others do the same. Becoming a certified relationship coach allowed me to turn my lived experience and education into tools and strategies that could empower others to heal, grow, and thrive.
What does being “The Love Phenom” mean to you?
It means embodying love in every season—whether it’s easy or hard. To me, love isn’t just about romance; it’s about compassion, respect, and resilience. Being “The Love Phenom” is about showing people that love is not weakness—it’s the greatest power we carry, and when we lead with it, we can transform not only relationships, but entire communities.
In your work with couples, what’s the biggest challenge you see in relationships today?
The biggest challenge is communication—or really, the lack of it. Many people are talking, but not really listening. Couples often come to me when they’re stuck in cycles of blame, misunderstanding, or silence. What I help them see is that healthy communication isn’t just about words—it’s about clarity, compassion, and intention.
How do you help people stay loving, even when life feels unlovable?
I teach them that staying in a loving place starts with staying grounded in who they are. I remind people that love is first a choice, not just a feeling. Staying in a loving place doesn’t mean ignoring pain—it means deciding not to let pain control you. It’s about choosing patience, grace, and perspective in the middle of the storm. I give people practical tools to pause, reset, and respond from love instead of reacting from hurt.
What’s one simple tool anyone can use to improve communication in their relationships?
One tool I love is called the “Pause and Play” method. Before responding in conflict, pause—take a breath, check in with your emotions, and then “play” your response in a way that communicates your truth with respect and curiosity. That small pause can completely change the direction of a conversation and keep it from turning destructive. It sounds simple, but that little pause can change the entire outcome of a conversation. Staying curious removes blame and allows both to feel heard and respected.
You’ve spoken on big stages—what message do you most want people to walk away with?
That no matter what you’ve been through, you are not defined by your past—you are defined by the choices you make today. I want people to leave with hope, with tools they can use, and with a deeper belief in themselves and their ability to build the life and relationships they deserve.
How do you keep your own heart strong while helping so many others heal?
I practice what I teach. I set boundaries, I give myself grace, and I stay connected to my faith. I’ve learned that pouring into myself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. The stronger I am, the more I can pour into others without burning out.
What’s the legacy you hope to leave through your work and your story?
Embrace your journey. I want my legacy to be one of resilience, love, and purpose. I want people—especially young people who feel counted out—to look at my life and say, “If she did it, I can too.” My mission is to remind people that even in the hardest moments, you can choose to rise, choose to love, and choose to lead a life of impact.
