The Guilt of Wanting More: Why High Achievers Often Feel Bad for Growing

Reprogramming the shame that surfaces when you dare to expand beyond your old identity

Have you ever hit a new milestone—more money, more recognition, more freedom—only to feel a subtle ache in your chest, a tension in your gut, or a quiet voice whispering, “Who do you think you are?”

You’re not alone. Many high-achieving women carry guilt when they grow. The guilt of outgrowing your roots. The guilt of making more than your family. The guilt of wanting more when others are settling.

I’m Alina Hlipcă-Radovici, brain reprogramming and success expert, and founder of the yourmoneymaster method. I’ve coached thousands of women through this very experience—and I’ve lived it myself.

Let’s explore why guilt shows up when we expand, how it holds you back financially and emotionally, and what to do to shift it.

The Hidden Conflict: Growth vs. Belonging

Guilt often masks a deeper fear: that if we grow too far, we won’t belong anymore.

When you earn more than your parents ever did, when you set boundaries your culture didn’t allow, when you claim visibility in a lineage of silence—your nervous system detects that as a rupture.

And because we’re wired for survival, our systems prioritize connection over success. Even if that connection is built on self-abandonment.

This is why guilt creeps in when everything is “going well.” The deeper identity says: I’m betraying where I come from.

Brain reprogramming allows us to update that story—not by rejecting our past, but by expanding our capacity to include both growth and belonging.

Step 1: Identify the Inherited Shame

Start by asking yourself: Who taught me it was wrong to want more?

Was it a parent who struggled financially and resented the rich? A teacher who praised humility and shamed ambition? A partner who said you were too much?

Write it out. Speak it aloud. Shame grows in silence, but dissolves in truth.

You are not broken for wanting more. You are not selfish for expanding. You are not betraying anyone by becoming yourself.

This is the foundation of personal success: separating your desires from inherited guilt.

Step 2: Create Safety Around Wanting More

Once you identify the old guilt story, the next step is to soothe your nervous system so it doesn’t equate growth with danger.

Try this:

1. Place a hand on your heart.
2. Say out loud: “It’s safe to want more. It’s safe to be more. It’s safe to have more.”
3. Notice what arises: tears, tension, resistance.
4. Breathe and stay.

This is what we call a “recalibration moment” in the yourmoneymaster method. The goal isn’t to force confidence. It’s to expand your inner container so success no longer feels like a threat.

Step 3: Integrate the New Identity

Guilt is sticky because it’s tied to identity. You must update the story of who you are allowed to be.

Use this journaling prompt: “As a woman who honors both her roots and her expansion, I…”

Write from the version of you who leads with integrity, honors where she came from, and still chooses to thrive.

Then ask: What would she do today? What would she let go of? What would she no longer apologize for?

Daily micro-decisions create neural safety. And neural safety leads to external overflow.

Ready to Release the Guilt?

If you’re a woman in business carrying guilt for your growth, know this: you don’t need to shrink to be loved. You don’t need to slow down to make others comfortable. And you certainly don’t need to dim to belong.

You get to reprogram the guilt. You get to write a new story. You get to become the woman who receives, thrives, and leads—without apology.

Start here:

1. Identify the old guilt story.
2. Create emotional safety for expansion.
3. Act from your new identity.

And if you want support in rewiring this from the inside out, DM me the word EXPAND and I’ll show you how we do it inside the yourmoneymaster method.

Because guilt isn’t a sign to shrink. It’s a sign you’re growing beyond the rules that kept you small.